foxes and hedgehogs

Update - finally!

2006-07-21T23:38:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,

Some of you may be a little more up to date than others, so I apologize if I am just jumping in here. I didn't have time to write some of you to let you know that we found out on July 5th that we need to leave in less than 2 weeks to be in Hanoi. But I'm sure you'll be able to fill in the gap. This is the first chance I've had to email,so hopefully you haven't been worried.

It's been pretty crazy trip thus far in terms of being the most hectic experience we've ever had and lack of sleep! -ugh, not to mention incredibly emotional, but everything is calming down. After travelling to Vietnam 20 hours, remember we left at midnight, we had to drive another 10 hours to the province Fiona came from. (That's her name we've decided on. Her middle name is Thuong, which means "love forever.") Stayed there 1 day for giving and receiving ceremony which was the official ceremony where we became her parents. It was a little business but mostly very touching. Two officicals from the government where there, the orphanage director and then all the nurses and other workers from the orphanage attended to on their own time. We also visited the orphanage. Then turned around and came straight back. Literally went 3-4 days without a bed. Slept a little in the car. Now we're back in Han oi resting. We already had meeting to get her passport which we pick up on monday. Then we had the medical appointment and the international clinic where the australian doctor proclaimed her as healthy and fat! Bunch of other meetings lined up...embassy, department of justice, etc.
The culture is amazing. In her province, we were the only non-Vietnamese people. Food is fantastic. Lots of spices and fish. Weather is incredibly hot and muggy. Hanoi is a crazy and wonderful city. Very, very pretty. Definetly the most different place we've ever been.
Fiona is healthy and beautiful, and adjusting well to all the changes. Very calm baby. She was well looked after at the orphanage as she was one of 2 babies there. She received lots of attention from two nurses who were obviously extremely attached to her. One of them who travelled all the way in the car from Hanoi to her provence with us was very protective of her (so sweet!). All the nurses cried when she left. very sad. And all the other children where so sad to see her go.
We are taking lots of pictures. It's been quite an experience.
Will write more in a couple of days.

Deep Breath

2006-07-14T07:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, ok, ok, whaooooo-k.

I think I have everything under control. The other night, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack, but then I got a good nights sleep and since then, things have started to calm down.

I've got almost everything packed for the baby which is surprisingly not that much. I just need to decide on a dress for her G&R, plus some other events coming up in the next couple of months. Which dress do you all think? Both have matching hats.

And I think I've got what I'm bring figured out which is also surprisingly not that much since it's mainly dresses as the weather is HOT.

Ok, gotta run. I've got 4,000 things to do today.

whoa, have I been busy!

2006-07-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

I won't hold out any longer. Thursday July 6th, the day before our 5th wedding anniversary, we got the best news of our lives - our referral! Yaaaaaahhhhooooooooo!

She was born March 11, 2006 and is beautiful. She has been moved from the province to Hanoi where she is with a foster family who will look after her until we arrive.

We leave Sunday night for the happiest trip of our lives - to go get our baby girl! I still can't believe it. I feel like I've been living in the clouds the last few days. Sometimes I find myself unable to hold back the tears and other moments, I feel a little shocked; it's hard to believe it's finally happening. I can't believe how quickly things moved from just a week or so ago when they said that we might need to be in Vietnam on the 20th. It's great to have been given the referral and then get to leave to get her so soon.

I've been running around like a maniac trying to get everything together. Bottles, formula, cloths, pj's, diapers, not to mention getting her room put in order for when she gets home. I feel so overwhelmed by it all and yet so delighted to be doing this. I love it!

We are just over the moon! I can't believe I will be holding my little baby in a little more than a week!

Life is Stranger Than Fiction

2006-07-06T07:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was nuts. My agency coordinator called and told us that we need to be in Hanoi no later than July 20th. Yes, that's right - the 20th of THIS MONTH. That's like in TWO WEEKS! As you can imagine, mayhem has ensued. I need to get visas, airline tickets, someone to take care of our dog, get the babies room ready, get packed ... oh man, get packed! Yikes! Ok, ok, deeeeep breath. Whew!

Regarding the baby: well, the funny thing is that we still don't have the referral - no picture, no medical, no nothing. Our agency has the medical information but they are waiting for the provence to give them the rest and then they will mail us the packet. The few details that I do know is that the baby is a girl and the medical was performed on April 20, 2006. She is in the Quang Binh provence but will be moving to foster care in Hanoi on monday. And that's it so far!!!

It's so funny to have been mentally ready for a baby for the last 5 years, and then to be told that we will be parent in two weeks and suddenly feel like it snuck up on us.

Dangling a Carrot

2006-06-29T18:00:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago, our agency sent out an email telling us that our agency rep was out for a week due to a death in the family. The next day I called just to make sure that if the referral was approved by the IAD during her absence that we would be told about it by someone. They told me that were just about to call us to let us know that they believe that the match has been approved by the IAD but that the provence hadn't given them any information on the baby. Ugh!

They think they will have the information next week (they're closed Monday and Tuesday). And then they also want us to get our visas because there is a chance that travel could happen sooner that the 2-3 month time frame they gave us. They are waiting for some further information and will know more next week. !? Good grief. It's all encouraging and great, but some solid definitives would be so lovely right now. But I guess I'll take this little morsel they've given us for now and just find a way to have even more patience.

Long Weekend

2006-06-26T08:14:00.000-07:00

We went to Las Vegas over the weekend with some friends of ours and had an absolute blast -- tons of people watching, eating, shopping, walking, partying, and dancing. I was completely exhausted by the end of it mainly from being sleep deprived. It started making me realize that I don't do to well on less than 6 hours sleep. And then it occurred to me. Uh, yikes, That's what all those new parents have been complaining about all these years.

But really, sleep deprivation is ridiculous for me to worry about right now when I STILL DON'T EVEN HAVE A REFERRAL YET. It's starting to make me crazy. At least it wasn't the first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning.

Good News From Vietnam

2006-06-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

Got an email from our agency yesterday. The government in the provence where our baby is living has sent all our baby's paper work to Hanoi for the central government's (IAD) approval. Once the IAD approves, we get our referral.

It's so crazy good!

referral week? -- unlikely

2006-06-14T12:47:00.000-07:00

Talked with adoption agency coordinator yesterday and she said it would be safe for me to assume that the referral probably won't come for a couple of weeks or more. Man it really smacked to hear that news. I started to feel myself sink into a pit of depression and this morning I found myself almost immobile. But luckily my sister called and got all drill sergeant on my ass just in time to shake me out of it. She reminded me that I have a lot to do before the baby comes and that I need to get cracking. She made me make a to-do list and told me that she is going to call tomorrow to check the progress.

Thank god for sisters! I really needed someone to do that for me.

Sometimes it's hard to imagine that a baby is really coming into our lives. It almost feels like I'm making this all up or that it could all fall through the cracks. But I have to have faith that this *is* happening and that our baby *is* going to be home with us soon. It's not like I have a growing belly as a reminder. But it is true -- I do need to get going with getting her room ready and buying a stroller etc.

This and this

2006-06-12T20:18:00.000-07:00

Hey! So I'm catching on to this kitchen remodel obsession real well now. I've got a custom cabinet guy coming over tomorrow am to look and see what he can do to fix up my kitchen without ripping it apart and starting from scratch.
Here's some more photo's of stuff I like just to throw it out there for the heck of it.

Referral Week?

2006-06-12T08:27:00.000-07:00

I'm really, really, REALLY hoping that the referral comes this week. I was doing so well waiting the last two weeks, but today I woke up and my ability to distract myself had vanished. I am officially starting to get impatient and who knows how long this wait can and will take.

I guess I'm going to have to try and continue to distract myself. So back onto the subject of the kitchen remodel. DH and I decided that we might not want to do a huge remodel now because we are planning on moving in a couple years. Also, we don't think we will really have the time to get it done before we go to Vietnam. Also, also we don't really know if it's worth all the stress. So over the weekend we decided on just doing a cosmetic redo by adding a farmhouse sink like the one in the photo and other details. I've contacted a couple cabinet makers who might be able to help with that. Let's keep our fingers crossed!

Bad Blogger

2006-06-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

I've been a very bad blogger lately, BUT I have a good excuse! I was in England attending the wedding
of my husband's cousin and visiting family like crazy. Not to mention, drinking like crazy too. Tea and beer and
wine and tea and champagne and tea and beer and tea and how about some whiskey to help that cold you
have? Oh my liver.

Anyhow, the wedding and the family were absolutely fabulous. England is such a funny little country. I
absolutely love it despite the fact that the weather was FREEZING and I got a horrible cold and was jet
lagged beyond belief. I still absolutely loved it and had such a fab time.

referral news: any day now ... !!!! I can hardly stand it. Thank god I had the trip to distract me and now
the kitchen remodel. I've been told that our agency knows of some children that are available, but that their
medical and legal paper work at the provincial level hasn't been completed yet. But any day now!!!!

And more good news???!!!

2006-05-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe it, but I have even more good news. When I last spoke with our representative at our adoption agency, I pressed her to give me an idea of when she thought we might receive a referral. Of course, she explained that she didn't know for sure, but she thought maybe within the next couple of months. Then on friday we got a group email update from her stating that they expect formal referrals within the next couple of weeks! I can hardly believe. And it's kind of weird to be experiencing this, but I'm feeling kind of panicked ... ?! Maybe it's because I feel like I have soo much to do!

Finally good news!

2006-05-19T07:52:00.000-07:00

We've had some good news with regard to the adoption process. Our agency called us today and told us that the Vietnamese government has approved our papers and has sent them on to the provincial level. Next, the Provence (Quang Binh in central Vietnam) works with the child placement service to locate a baby for us in an orphanage in that provence. Eventually we'll get a picture (I think) and a report on the baby.

I am so excited and relieved. After weeks of waiting for this approval or any word from the government, I was getting worried that the government would continue to stall for months.

It's beginning to feel like this is really happening. After so many years of longing for a baby, it's hard to believe that I will someday be holding ours in my arms. And it feels so amazing to have some concrete details -- to know that our baby has been born and is living in Quang Binh and will soon be matched with us. I keep day dreaming about what she is doing at a given moment. Right now, I think she's sleeping since it's 9pm there. I feel so happy!

I treated her to a pair of slippers yesterday.

Mother's Day

2006-05-14T08:19:00.000-07:00

Every year for the last 5 years I've hoped to be celebrating this year as a new mother. Unfortunately, this year is also not the year for me. It's so depressing to me to have these milestones come and go and feel like they could come and go again next year. All the while, other people get pregnant, have kids, and their lives move on.

This weekend an old friend of mine had a baby shower which I was unable to attend. Secretly, I was a little relieved to not have to go. When I was going through my IVF treatments and being tortured by infertility, baby showers were the devil for me. I attended one and had to hold back the tears for 3 hours and then drove home sobbing. I eventually stopped attending them for fear that the shower would turn out to be a pity fest for the girl in the corner crying (me) rather than a celebration about the new mother. But now that I'm adopting, I think I could probably attend a baby shower again and feel happy for the mother to be without nearly passing out from my own grief. However, I'm still a little nervous about giving it a go. I think it may take a while for my baby shower hangover to wear off.

So... When I start to feel tired of being miserable over things like this, I try and remember what I have to be grateful for. It usually works like a charm. Obviously, this being mother's day, I'm forever grateful for my mom and my mother in law. They are fabulous women and I are lucky to have them in my life.

This is a photo of my husband and I on our trip to South America last December. We had a great time. We had just decided to adopt and for the first time in years, felt a huge sense of relief and happiness. It was heaven!

Another Day ...

2006-05-04T07:53:00.000-07:00

Del, the moderator, on one of my Yahoo groups posted today something about today being another day. I read that first thing when I woke up and was happy to be reminded of it. Yesterday, I got some disappointing news about our adoption. Our agency told us that the commitment of periodical update form we submitted to them a week an a half ago was finally on it's way to Vietnam to be translated and then submitted to the IAD. This means that most likely the IAD has put a 2-3 week hold on our dossier until that final document comes in. UGH. I'm trying not to let it get me down and instead focus on something that I actually do something about such as our kitchen remodel.

Yesterday, I also spent the day picking up samples of tiles and flooring for our new kitchen. Today my friend Megan from Curb Appeal is going to come by and help me sort out the layout of our new kitchen as well as select tiles, flooring, AND help me pick out a wall color for the baby's room and fabrics for the bedding, and upholstery. I'm super excited and a little nervous because I don't have all my samples together to show her.

In the meantime, here is a photo I tore out of a magazine a few years back because I LOOOOVED it so much. And a few years later, I still love it. It's my inspiration for my new kitchen. Course, I certainly don't have that much room to work with, but I love the colors and finishing touches.

Today is another day, right? It's going to be a good one and I'll just have to remind myself that our baby is going to be coming home someday soon.

Kitchen remodel project day 1

2006-05-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, here we go! My first post!! I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while
and I read on someone's blog that they feel like blogging has helped them organize
their thoughts so that was the catalyst.

We have decided to remodel our kitchen. We are desperate to have it done before
we adopt our baby. So this week I am going to try and finalize the architect's drawings
and pick out some of the other details like tile, flooring, etc. Deep breath.

I've been thinking about this for a while so it shouldn't be too hard.